insta-friday: down & back again

soo this is actually a little over a week. from the weekend of palm sunday until now. i've been down to chicagoland twice in the past week. two weeks ago i went down for a baby shower for one of my oldest friends. 

friends since elementary school. congratulations crystal jean! we missed you heather!

whenever i'm home i make sure to eat all the food we don't have up here in the woods. lets be honest, that's anything besides mcdonalds or subway so my options are endless. 

from the top: enchiladas, frozen yogurt, midnight run to spunky dunkers,
 tj's amazing almonds, pad thai, and breakfast for dinner (that one was local)

in between trips to civilization i got a lot done in the studio this week- from organizing to new projects to some unrestricted creative fun (hooray!)

Someone recently passed along a big box of vintage costume jewelry and I've spent much of the week clipping and sorting and playing around giving all these pieces new life. i love that each piece is unique and one of a kind. yep...those mean the same thing. 

Another one of these is in progress. I'll blog about it when it's all done!

New skirt & scarf! Second attempt at the maxi. Should have used this fabric the first time. Instead I was silly & used my nice stuff from my Mood Fabrics groupon...and it doesn't quite fit. Boo.

Changing up some of the hoops on the wall. The "create" and the stitched doodle are being carried over from the old grouping because I love them and they were a lot of work, but everything else is fresh & new!

Finally getting the pegboard up and functional. When we moved into this house we weren't sure how long we'd be here so I never really organized. After a year & a half I decided my sanity was worth it even if I have to pack things up in a month!

also in the last week- baseball returned! hooray! baseball is really my first love. long before i met my own baseball player i loved the game. i was ryne sandberg for halloween when i was 4. my dad taught me to keep score and took me to cubs games. they break my heart every year but i can't live without them. stupid cubs. also there are the magic pants. right hannah? 

I don't need to be at the game to keep score! This was at my desk while listening to the radio!

We did get to go to a game while we were in Chicago. It's been a really long time since my whole family went to a game and it was wonderful. Sure they lost (the bullpen melted down, surprise, surprise) but a day at Wrigley with my love & my family really is perfect- especially when it's 60 & sunny! I've been to games at Wrigley in April in the snow. Or horrible freezing rain.

We love baseball!

we went to the easter service at willow. it feels huge to me now for the first time in a long time. since i grew up at this church as was in a small group with the same people for almost 10 years it never felt big. now that i've moved away and work at a church of 120 people and they've built a new auditorium, this just feels huge! it is always a blessing to be back though, the easter service was a beautiful mix of music, spoken word and artistic moments that conveyed the message of the Gospel so clearly!

Easter Sunday at my home church. Yep, it's big!

after church we had our usual april birthday celebration with my family. my nana's birthday is the 18th, my dad's is the 17th and papa's was the 6th so every year we do all the april birthdays plus easter as one big celebration!

Happy Birthday Dad Man! I found him that vintage Quaker Whiskey bottle to use when he teaches Quaker University at work (he's a chemical engineer for Quaker Oats!)

again i'll leave you with the weekly picture of the pup. 

since we don't have kids she gets her picture taken a lot. a lot, a lot. 

found a happy spot in the sun!

as usual, i'm linking up over here with jeannett!

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I shared this story over at thirty one: 10 on Tuesday but I wanted to make sure I shared it here too. It has been on my heart lately that I need to share this part of story more. 

Also I know that this is a long, emotional pictureless post so later today I'm linking up to InstaFriday!

I have always said that I have a boring testimony. I used to wish that I had a more interesting story to share, but in reality my ‘boring’ testimony is a blessing and a tribute to God’s faithfulness. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home, I went to a Christian school for 9 years and was active in my youth group throughout high school. I was a straight-A student who cared more about school than partying and didn’t really think I needed much help from anyone. God had gifted me with leadership abilities & a good brain and I was pretty certain I could handle everything on my plate all by myself 

{I know…I was that girl. But I was fun too I promise}.

I got to college and continued to handle things all by myself. I went to a Christian college and was surrounded by other Christians for the first time in my life. For the first year of school, that was wonderful; I was spurred on in my faith and I grew in new and exciting ways. By sophomore year things took a different turn. I was surrounded by ministry opportunities, Christian peers, Christian professors; I was going to chapel, leading a small group and taking theology classes, but my heart started to harden. I was so focused on having it all together and doing the right things that I stopped focusing on what really mattered, my relationship with God. I had big plans for my future; I was planning to graduate early and go to grad school. By 23 I would have my masters in counseling and be set on my path to success.

But that’s not quite how it went.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Junior year was difficult. For the first time in my life school got hard, and I didn’t really know what to do. Two friends from my high school youth group, strong Christians, passed away within one week of each other. One of them committed suicide. My best friend and I stopped speaking because I wanted to try dating and he didn’t. But I kept going. I kept being the girl who could handle everything on her plate and didn’t need help from anyone.  I was wrong.

Senior year came and I decided not to graduate early. I was on track to be done with everything important first semester and was going to spend my last semester taking fun classes and hanging out with friends. I start the semester like I always did, organizing my color-coded class binders and writing all the important dates in my calendar, but something was off. I pressed on. A few weeks into my classes I started realizing that for the first time in my life I couldn’t do school. For no explicable reason I was unable to keep up; I couldn’t focus on my reading and I was having trouble getting up in the morning to go to class. {Side note: I was a psych major. I knew what was going on. In the back of my head a little voice said, Jacqui you’re depressed, but I ignored it thinking that surely I didn’t struggle like that.}

By the end of September I was falling behind faster than I could catch up and had been informed that I was failing multiple classes. The idea of failure completely overwhelmed me and drove me further into my pit. When I would wake up realizing I had missed my first class, I would be so upset with myself that I didn’t see a point in going to my next class. This led to sleeping in my dark basement bedroom until 3:00 or 4:00pm. I was a wreck. I had lost myself, my identity. My closest friends were all out of the country for the semester and my roommates couldn’t be bothered to help. I was completely alone and could not face the fact that I needed help.

Then God did something funny. He gave me Brandon. When we told our story a few weeks ago to the junior high ministry we stressed that God does not solve your problems by bring you a boyfriend/girlfriend. I will stress that again today :) Brandon and I met at a time when I was far from a fun and attractive possible mate, but he saw something in me that was worth fighting for. I asked him today why he stuck around and he said that I deserved someone to fight for me and to help me and he knew that I was better than the person I was in that moment. I’m so glad he did. Brandon gave me a reason to get help and to get better. I started going to counseling with a wonderful counselor, I spoke with our fantastic dean of women who helped arrange incompletes with my professors so that I would not fail every class, and I finally, finally admitted that I couldn’t do it on my own.

Through counseling, much prayer, the support of my family and the presence of Brandon, who showed up at my house and woke me up for class almost every day of second semester, I finished college on time. I did not graduate early. I did not get an easy last semester full of fun classes and time with friends. My grade point average, which I had prided myself on for so long, plummeted. I did not go straight to grad school. I am 26 and do not have my masters. None of this is the path I would have chosen. None of this is the plan I had for myself, but God had a better plan. In the midst of the darkness of depression it didn’t seem like that plan was full of hope or prosperity, but it was. God is faithful and He used that dark time to teach me that I couldn’t do it on my own, I needed a support system. We are designed to live in community. He also gave me my very best friend and sweet husband at what seems like the most illogical time. {I learned a little bit later that Brandon was also going through a huge struggle & loss of identity in those months. God gave us to each other. Two are better than one.} More importantly, my life is so much better when I draw close to my Savior. When I am reliant on Christ for my strength, I am able to do more than I could have ever done on my own. God is faithful and gives us exactly what we need, always. 

Life is not perfect. I am not 100% past this. There are times when this struggle rears its ugly head; when the smallest of failures threatens to send me back to my pit. But I am now able to see it coming and defend against it. I turn to Christ, I turn to the Word, I turn to Brandon, I turn to trusted friends and yes I turn to chocolate! I no longer allow the depression to rule my life. God is faithful. 

feel free to right click & download this in its full size!

  

Footnote: I spent a long time believing that because I was a Christian I shouldn’t have been struggling with depression and it took me a long time to get past the shame I felt. I thought that I should have been able to pray it away or with enough faith it would go away. There is no shame in being depressed. There is no shame in going to counseling. There is no shame in medication to help adjust the chemical imbalance in your brain. God has given us these means, along with prayer and His Word, to be healed. If you are facing this struggle, do not face it alone. Do not stay in your dark basement like I did! Seek help in your community, with those you trust. Or, please, email me: jacqui@crafteemcgee.com

linking up with...

treasury tuesday

ohhh i've been a bad blogger. so sorry! spring has finally sprung around here and after i sit in my office all day, i just want to be outside. we've been walking outside, eating outside, reading outside and even boating on the chain of lakes! love spring in the northwoods! 

first things first, i'm sharing my story over at ThirtyOne:10 today. this is a part of my story that i don't tell often but it has made me who i am in so many ways and is a true testimony to God's faithfulness. head on over and leave me a little love? this was not an easy story to write!

on a happier note, i haven't done a treasury tuesday in weeks. it seems the pictures still won't show up in google reader so click on over to see these three beautiful collections that i was lucky enough to be featured in! 

featuring the punch buggy earrings. thanks for the feature looploft!

this gorgeous water for elephants treasury features the reCharm necklace. thank you so much ringlebee!

and featuring the birds nest earrings. perfect treasury for spring! thanks kokadoodle3!

have you been featured in a great treasury recently? created one? or have you seen a gorgeous collection on etsy? leave the link in the comments!

He is risen indeed!

{source}

"But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 

While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood
by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and
bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, 

'Why do you seek the living among the dead? 

He is not here, but has risen. 

Remember how He told you, while He was still in Galilee, 

that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men 

and be crucified 

and on the third day rise.'

And they remembered his words, and returning from the tomb they told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest."

Luke 24:1-9

Have a blessed Easter! Rejoice today, knowing that death has been conquered & your debt has been paid!

random thoughts on a friday afternoon

i'm sitting at work waiting for the bulletin to print & thinking of all the work still to be done at home. klondike days set up begins in 2 hours and i'm not quite ready! i won't be taking much product over today since i live so close and i don't want it all to sit there for too long. i will be taking the display over, including the two massive oak doors i use for hanging necklaces on. luckily we don't have very far to go because they don't quite fit in our car! come to think of it, neither does the 8 foot table i'm using. hmmmm

you may have noticed that the shop is looking pretty empty. i've cleared it out for the show and will restock next week with everything that's left & hopefully some new products! i made a few statement necklaces for the show that i'm secretly hoping won't sell. they might be my favorite ever! like this one, shown in progress...

sorry for the crummy late night phone photo!

this week has been stressful, filled with not enough sleep or coffee, feelings of anxiety and not good enoughness {yep. made that up} but i have been reminded again and again that God's mercies are new every morning. what a wonderful gift! when i would go to sleep exhausted and discouraged i would awake to a sweet, encouraging email or a note from a friend. thank you Lord that your mercies truly are new every morning! feel free to download and print the verse below to remind you on your tough days!

i'll resurface on the blog sometime next week but look for me on twitter this weekend with updates from klondike days. i'm really not sure what to expect from the show since the other festival activities include horse pulls and chainsaw carving and dog sleds! we shall see :)

a reminder (and a free printable!!)

i am a person who struggles daily with anxiety. among many other things, i worry about the safety of my family, the health of my husband, the health of my dog {i know...} and {most often} my own health. every little symptom is blown up in my mind and if i don't just blurt out my ridiculous thoughts i can convince myself i'm dying before noon. it really helps me to hear my overblown thoughts outloud {plus brandon is really good at reminding me that i'm healthy} but even more helpful are the reminders i get from Scripture. i pray that the Lord would wash a peace over me and calm my fears. a verse that i rely on daily is John 14:27. i need to remember that Christ promises peace. i also need to know that my heart {both emotionally and physically} needs not be troubled or afraid. Christ offers a peace unlike any other and i need not be anxious for anything. 

i created this printable to hang in my office at work and in my studio at home so that i could see the words before me every day. if you need this reminder in your life feel free to download & print this off!

just click on the image to see it full size, then right click & save it!

i hope this can be a sweet reminder to you that no matter what, your heart need not be troubled or afraid. have a great {and peaceful} weekend!

moving to the woods...

since a new year has just begun and we've just embarked upon a new chapter of our lives, it's time to update the blog. i'm planning to start fresh from this point and be a much more diligent blogger, but first i thought i should share just how we ended up moving to northern wisconsin! it's a wonderful story of God's provision and direction in our lives so bear with me if i get long winded!

in september i got to spend a week teaching a jewelry class at Northwoods Adventure {the week at HoneyRock set aside for Wheaton alum ages 65+}. of all the retreats we've hosted, this group is my favorite. they are up for anything, anxious to meet new friends, and are so full of stories and wisdom. the whole week i felt like i was using my gifts, bringing joy to people and feeling fulfilled {a HUGE change from the way i felt at my job at home}. i kept asking the Lord for more opportunities to serve in this way & to use my gifts upon returning home. by the end of the week we had worked things out for me to teach crafting classes at the retirement community many of these dear people live in. i thought that was exactly the help i needed to return to a life i wasn't excited about. God had other plans.

this was during one of their worship times. recognize that headband?
image courtesy of Ted & Donna Loy, Wheaton College, '61

that sunday, i went to church in town and the youth pastor was giving the congregation an update on the church's youth ministry. it wasn't quite a sermon, mostly informational, but at the end he said to everyone, "i just want to ask you this morning, do you love your life? are you following God's call wherever it leads?"

i sat in the back of the {very small} church in tears. no. i do not love my life! i don't want to go back to my life! but i don't see another option right now! brandon and i had been praying for another job for me for months, but door after door was closed.
after the sermon the interim senior pastor got up and announced that they had a job opening in the church that needed to be filled in the next two weeks and he would be accepting applications after the service.
i was stunned. speechless. and still in tears. immediately {yes, during church} i texted brandon, who was still down in wheaton, and asked what he thought about moving to the woods. in 2 weeks.

naturally he thought i was totally crazy, but we've both been wanting to come back here for 3 years so.... after church i talked to a few people who know us and love us to see what they thought about the idea. everyone was encouraging. i drove home that afternoon and brandon and i talked and i prayed and we talked some more {i was probably a very distracted driver}. that week we decided i would at least apply for the job at church and see where God led from there. there were so many things that would need to fall into place that the whole thing seemed completely unlikely. we had gotten so used to God saying no that we'd forgotten what it was like to hear a yes. brandon would need a job. we'd need to break our lease. we'd need to quit our jobs {brandon had just been promoted}. we'd be leaving our close friends & my family. we'd need to find a year round rental in a place almost 100% full of summer cottages.
needless to say, all of those things fell into place. i met the senior pastor and applied for the church job a week later when we were back at HoneyRock for the 60th anniversary weekend. i interviewed over the phone four days later. two days after that i was extended a job offer. meanwhile, HoneyRock offered brandon a job through the end of winter. our landlords kept our security deposit but didn't require us to finish out our lease. we were researching rental houses when we got an email from friends of ours who were leaving the northwoods {to move to wheaton of all places!}. an offer had just fallen through on their house so it was going to be available. they offered to rent it to us for whatever we could afford. they were moving out 6 days before we needed to move in. we were afraid of the whole thing, but God's leading was undeniable- so we were off to the woods!

God has been so good to us. two and a half years ago when our graduate program ended at HoneyRock we longed to stay here, but the doors were closed. we spent the next two years wandering from place to place, from state to state, try to determine what God had for us. it took two and a half years, 4 states, 3 lousy jobs and countless job applications for us to land right back where we started. our hearts had stayed here in the northwoods and now we're back.

 things aren't quite settled yet. we are only staying in this house until it sells. brandon hasn't found a full time job {this is not the best place to be job searching}. we're still working on paying off the debt we incurred while we were unemployed a few years ago. but God has led so far. He has provided for our every need. and He will continue. 


^"In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1: 4-6